Cut the Rope Holiday - iPhone

Om Nom ... Om Nomming

This free game for the iPhone is really a demo for the $0.99 full game that doubles as a neat little free game.  I was impressed by the charming puzzle game and after completing th demo I quickly bought the full Version which is so big that... it's just so many puzzles.  I won't complete that any time soon.  I love the way they made a free mini version rather than a demo it worked perfectly and I never felt  pushed to buy the full version.

Missile Command for the Gameboy

Not able to confirm that that man's face is supposed to look like that.

Missile Command was apparently another popular arcade game and the only reason you should care is because it was in Terminator 2 when John Conner is seen playing it in the mall.  Speaking of which it's about time I let you down easy.  You will never go the the arcade with friends after school eat pizza and drink chug-a-freezes via The Weekenders.

Cairo ... Obviously

The Game Boy game features portability as it's only "new thing" to offer.  I got very bored very fast even though I wanted to respect the origins of this game.  As the levels change the backgrounds change.  I know it seems simple but this was literally my favorite part of this game.  Creating the pixelated backgrounds seems like it must have taken a little bit of effort as opposed to the game play which feels like an action figure whose mouth was painted too big because the assembly line was moving too quickly.

Everytime I pick this up I miss my old transparent purple.  If you had anthing else your parents didn't love you.

New York City was represented by a crooked Statue of Liberty and skyscrapers and London had that weird bridge thing.  and of course Paris had a sweet view of the Eiffel Tower but alas I will never know how Moscow was represented due to my inability to force myself to be decent at this game if you call it that.  Another thing is that this games high score board was broken just like Tetris's.  I wonder if this is due to the age of this generation of game.  If you'd like to see the first half of the game beaten rather well here is a link. I played on my sweet pink GBC.

Tetris for the Original GameBoy

I want to play this drawing.

Apparently way back in the summer of 1989 the original GameBoy came with a packed in Tetris cartridge.  I was 9 months old when this game was released.  For two decades it's been following a strange path in the world until I found it in my sister's abandoned pink game boy color in my mother's garage.  The game was probably mine at some point in my childhood but I was too busy at the time catching them all to be bothered with the amazing stacking puzzle game that is Tetris.
  

What it looks like on th GB Color

J.S. Bach - French Suite no. 3 in B minor (BWV 814) ?

The game features three different music "types". The music consists of Type A the same as everyone's heard and  knows from the arcade cabinets.  Type B consists of a more native Russian sound.  The best bleeps and bloops to listen to while stacking though is hidden the obscure and rarely chosen Type C.  Type C is apparently some classical Bach and I wasn't aware I was a fan until Tetris for GB.  I wonder if they had to licence Bach's music.  I wonder if people still care about licencing today's music in a couple centuries.  Does someone own the right's to Bach's music?  Can they?  When Paul McCartney finally dies along with Ringo and maybe Yoko along  with them will I finally be able to play "Hey Jude" in a game I'm developing? without paying royalties?  Or will someone else own that?

What my Top-Scores always looks like.

Then there are two different Game play "Types".  Classic or "game type A" is where you choose a starting speed, getting more  points for starting at a higher speed, and then struggle to survive as long as possible in order to write your name on the high-score board.  I'm not sure if it was because the game was 20+ years old or if it's just a ridiculously not well made game but it wouldn't save my high-scores.  I know playing Tetris without hichscores seems a lot like pooping without toilet paper, disappointing at the end, but Tetris had a saving grace.

Alexey Pajitnov

Game Type B consists of choosing a "Level" or speed and a "High" which chooses the amount of screen already  taken up by a amalgamated clod of bricks you have to puzzle your way through.  I'm very proud to declare that after thousands of restarts I was able to defeat Level: 9 High: 5 which randomly took me to a cut-scene of a rocket ship taking off.  Pretty cool I must say.

Apparently this guy named Alexey Pajitnov is the original creator of Tetris but his evil communist government technically owned it so he didn't get any money until recently.  His most recent release was a game called Hexic 2 for XBLA which I don't have, making Dwice, his newest PC game, earn a spot on my wish list.  

Simple Math

http://www.themanchesterorchestra.com/us/news/manchester-orchestra-simple-math-release-date-track-listing

sweaty hot live music... gross.

     Man's Chest Orchid have graced us with some new information.  Their new album is going to be called Simple Math and will be released in May 2011.  Not only have they set a date and title to the damn thing but have let the masses know the track-listing. Obviously the sole purpose of this is so we can commence judging each songs musical merit based solely upon it's title. Which I for one will delay no further.

1. Deer - I Feel like Andy Hull wants to be some type of naturalistic mountain man via his beard living in a hut near a pond via a name like "Deer" contemplating moral and spiritual greatness via his lyrics.  I also want to be Henry David Thoreau but alas Andy Hull does it better than me.  This does a lot of damage to my ego. I've come to the realization that this guy is cooler than me even by my own standards.  Damn it.  I've found a new source of insecurity. I'm going to think about that a lot for the next few days.
2. Mighty - Gonna be a strong song.
3. Pensacola - Mmmmmmm. I like cola.  I don't have any in my house because I always drink it all.  If I ever find any money, that's what I'm going to buy. Cola.  Fizzy bubbles in the caffeinated syrup. God I'm like someone who can only put down the meth long enough to continue my chain smoking.  Addicted as all Fuck.
4. April Fool - Who's the fool now bitch?
5. Pale Black Eye - Black eyed peas..? oh no. not at all. That's probably really good.
6. Virgin - I'm like a Virgin losing a child. what are you like?
7. Simple Math. - Hmm? Title track. Probably just another solid song that doesn't have any gross uniqueness to it. via Mean Everything to Nothing.  It's kind of like a reversal of mainstream pop who name their albums of filler after a solid single. Man's Chest names their single filler after their solid album.
8. Leave It Alone - Not even going to make fun of this one.

9. Apprehension -  I'm aware of this song.
10. Leaky Breaks - Sounds like the album closer is going to get out of control and then crash.

11. ? - Sadly we aren't privy to the title of the, as of yet not confirmed, hidden track via Jimmy Whispers

The BEST god damn triangle you ever did see.

     So mark your god damned calendars; May 11, 2011 is the day the world gets a little less sucky.  Now lets look at the album artwork.  Super simple, White, a kick ass triangle which is arguably the simplest shape ever.  But look at that thing.  They took something like a right triangle and rotated it to an angle you've never seen before.  You can't make a triangle look better than that triangle.  I dare you to even try.

Apparently this is the Dan Hannon character.  If that even is his real name.

     "Dan Hannon, who produced the band’s first record and co-produced the second, was once again at the helm for Simple Math." I wonder if this mean's "math" will have more of a "virgin" sound than a "mean everything" sound.  If so I would be okay with that.  If it's something completely different I'd be happy.  If it's just "mean everything" 2, I'll  be disappointed.  I don't want to see the band stagnate will a certain sound.

Andy Hull's Wife Amy Hull.

     This paragraph is enough to keep me from killing myself for the next five months.  One month to listen to the album.  "Simple Math is a concept record. From this platform, some bands might dive into the world of fantasy; front man Andy Hull instead presents his own reality, holding back nothing. It’s a story about a 23-year old who questions everything from marriage to love to religion to sex. It’s chock full of monster riffs, vigorous string arrangements, deep hooks and has miles of melodies that encase a compelling coming-of-age story told in the first person, intimately written and sung by Hull."

     Apparently Hull's wife is what he thinks god sounds like. “This record is two dueling conversations between me and my wife, and me and my God,” says Hull. “Sometimes even for myself, it’s difficult to decipher which one I’m actually talking to. Everything I've written in the past has been about those things. This album is the most realized form of my questioning.”

     Anyhoo that is all i wanted to talk about today. whelp. adiós fagots.

Mean Everything to Nothing

     Remember when Jesse Lacey and Brand New were touring with their bright and shiny new album Daisy?  They brought along openers Kevin Devine and Manchester Orchestra.  I had seen Mr. Devine in a couple videos singing "Jesus" with Jesse Lacey. At the time Manchester's "I've Got Friends", though I didn't know who sang it, was my favorite song to hear come on the radio at the time.  I know, sweet radio station right?  Well it was too good to be true and they're not on the air anymore but you can still hear them if you hook up to an internet tube and look for indie 303.  

Only a real man can wear a beard this well.

     Well obviously after I became more learned on the subject of Manchester Orchestra I fell in love with Andy Hull's vocal dynamics, lyrical themes, and flowing beard.  Mean Everything to Nothing restored my faith in the ability of music to mean something.  More than sales charts, Youtube "hits" or pop radio play time, this band was going to sing about discovering some meaning in life.  This was a subject that I could get behind, something that inspired me, thrilled me.  I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time for music: Anticipation.  I couldn't wait to hear more of this beautiful candy for the soul.  These people were finally good enough to deserve my ear time.

     With the bashing of socialite christians "I bet you did what you did when you did just to tell every friend that you have that the Lord did it." and drinking as if the answers were known to reside at the bottom of a bottle of beer, "God, I need another round, another round, another round, another I could feel it now."  I had finally found a lyricist that understood the things in life that I respected, including his new album Mean Everything to Nothing.